Seven Days to Beautiful Living: Evaluating Relationships
Welcome to day 4 of Beautiful Living.
Where do I start with this one? Evaluating your relationships is so essential in order to have or maintain a beautiful life. This step cannot be overlooked or taken lightly.
The reason some people can't move forward with beautiful living is because they are holding on to toxic relationships. This relationship can be a friend, family member (which I know that we can't just remove completely...we will talk about this later), a spouse, a coworker, etc. I think you get my point. If not, my point is, you have to take some time to evaluate the people that are in your "circle".
You have to ask yourself, will this person be able to go to with me to my next level in life? How valuable is this person or who are the people that constantly drain you with their negative energy and every time they are around you're like OMG?
So let's take a few moments to evaluate your relationships together. But before you can do this, you have to evaluate yourself. You have to start with you. Everything that has something to do with beautiful living starts with you.
The first thing you have to do is include God. Secondly, you need to know what your purpose is or be in the process of discovering it because you have included God. You must have a positive mindset that is willing and ready to receive and make the changes that are needed. You have to know who you are today, not the person you were 3 months ago...5 months ago but the person that you are today and where you are headed.
If you know who you are and where you are headed then you can identify who you need in your life to get you there. If you don't know who you are, then it is very likely that you are connected to relationships that aren't taking you far.
Ok, now you can take out a pen and paper and write down all your "friends" and then write down family members, spouse and whomever else need to be listed for this exercise.
With your friends, write down all their names and how they contribute to your life (there's no sense of keeping no dead weight around...you got things to do). Which of your friends encourage and support you verses the one who says, "hmph you're doing something else, you can't stick to just one thing"? The latter type people can't stick around in a prominent position in your life. You need people that support and encourage you to go higher in life.
Your family members are a little different but you do have those family members that always have something negative to say as well. I suggest that you love them from a distance and keep it move it. Unlike your friends, you can't just walk away from them.
It's important that you take some time to evaluate your marriage as well. There are a lot of couples that are comfortable in their marriage and don't think that healthy communication is important. Talk to your spouse regularly. Ask questions like, how can I help improve our marriage? If I could change one thing, what would it be? How are we doing? Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk to me about? If your marriage is on the rocks, I suggest that you seek help. There are so many programs to help save marriages but both parties have to be willing to seek and receive the help that is needed to bring the marriage back on track. Marriage is beautiful especially when you are able to have an open communication with the one you love.
Just know that you cannot live a beautiful life and fulfill your purpose when you have people in your life that don't belong. Everyone can't go with you to your next level.
Who are the people who bring you joy and uplift you and who are the people that drains you...I mean drain the life out of you?
Are there relationships that you have to step-up and say, "I'm sorry". If so, do it!! Not tomorrow but today! Don't let those relationships sit on the sideline because you are too stubborn to speak up and say I'm sorry. So when you are evaluating your relationships, it doesn't mean that everyone has to go, it just mean that some relationships just need some TLC. You may have to say you are sorry, I forgive you, I love you.
Once you have evaluated yourself first and identified your keepers then you should be able to create healthy mutual boundaries and respect. You should be able to express feelings, wants and needs in these relationships. You should be able to be yourself around them and have open communications. God wants us to live in abundance but sometimes we block our own blessings because of the people that we keep in our lives.
There is one more relationship that is more important than any of the other relationships that I have mentioned and that's your relationship with God. How's your relationship with him? On day one, I mentioned including God in all that you do. He is the one that bring relationships together, put people in your path to support, uplift and get you to the next level in your life. So take some time to evaluate your relationship with Him and get on one accord with Him.
So pick up the phone and say I'm sorry, I forgive you. Reevaluate your relationships, dismiss who needs to be dismissed and keep who needs to be kept and pray for the void that you have in your relationships so that God can fill what is missing.
Live so that the people around you want to be better. Remember Beautiful Living means that everything around you is good not perfect but good.
Until Next Time,